忙

最近很忙。
但不知道自己忙什麼。
總之就是忙！

How to Overcome Feelings of Guilt

Got to say...

I, CLaRa
DISLIKE
the
FEELINGS
of
GUILT
that has been bothering me!!!
Kill me BAHHHH!!

bang bang bang >.<

August, The Eight Day of The Month

Time flies and without realizing it, it’s the 8 August, the eight day of the month... Sometimes I want it be fast but sometimes not, perhaps there may be a reason when I want it to be fast right, Clara (=

My body is becoming weak recently. My fever is keeps on coming and not long after the recovery, it comes again. Besides having fever, I have been suffering from running nose. It is the one which made me feel terrible day and night especially when I eat and sleep >.< I really have no appetite to eat when those foods feel tasteless.

I’m wondering if my daily life is getting better than when I was studying out there last time. I do take my meals and rest on time, how come I’ll still fall sick? I am the kind of people who easily get sick since young and I need to vaccine every 2 years when the antibodies are insufficient in my body. With regards to this matter, I really should have faith in Lord that He will completely heal me in this situation or else I really don’t know who I should be looking for. Do keep me in prayers, my dear Friends in Christ. Thank you.

Nothing special in my life recently, besides working, it’s still working. My life is full of works and learning, but I do enjoy it. It’s better than staying at home and do nothing.

I always tell myself that it’s worth the time and effort. I make it as my goal to please Lord. So when things don’t seem to work, or they are difficult, or even when we don’t get it right this time, stay on course. The training is for the future, so don’t regret it or fret. Lord is with me.

But the bad thing is that, my heart is still not stable in my hometown here. Don’t feel like staying here for long time, but with the plans I have, it’s always worth fighting for, isn’t it?

All I can tell myself is that, be patient and wait for the next step, else parents cannot see what effort I have put into my life and how responsible I am in my daily life. Perhaps I should show them a good result first. May God bless me abundantly.

To be continued……

29 July, 2010

Recently I have been too busy learning and besides learning, I’m still learning. I am wondering how come I never felt so tired during my uni days back then? Perhaps, there’s no more extra time for me to go out to chill myself down or to play like back in the old days anymore? And I grew up finally! Oh well…take it easy, Clara! Soon you will get used to it!

Secondly, while I’m busy, I realized that my temper is slowly starting to grow short. I get angry recently easily, but thank God that I’m not showing emotions on my face but only inside my heart. Or else I guess there will be many people who want to kill me because of my black face.

I am wondering again this afternoon and asked Lord that, “Lord, how long do You think I can withstand? “and praying to God, please don’t let my short-temper take over me!!

Thirdly, I guess I need to pray for myself to have a forgiving heart when someone said something that they shouldn’t have said. Seriously I am very “... ....” these two days. But well, I don’t care also! Hehehe <.<

Ephesians 4:29

²⁹Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

People, this bible verse really helped me a lot. So do read and meditate yourself when you guys see this! Hope it helps.

Lastly, to be continued (=

Morning Devotion: Watch, Pray, Consider N Grow Wise...

<sup>Proverbs 24:30-32

30</sup> I went past the field of the sluggard,
past the vineyard of the man who lacks judgment;

³¹ thorns had come up everywhere,
the ground was covered with weeds,
and the stone wall was in ruins.

³² I applied my heart to what I observed
and learned a lesson from what I saw:..."

The thing that characterized the Life of someone that God called wise was the DISCIPLINE to apply heart to and learn from the everyday things that happened around....

I don't want to walk through Life oblivious. I want to take notice of and learn from the things God brings my way to instruct and change me.

But it takes work on my part! It won't just drop into my lap. I want to make the most every opportunity. And I know You do too (=

Father, May I be an instrument of Your Love. Use me to make a difference to someone listening to the concert of my Life. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Seven One Seven, 717, July 17 !!!

Well, it’s been a while since I last posted here. I had been in hometown for a month already.

Recently, there are people around me who like to know what my following plan is. Hahaha normally I won’t answer their question and will only show them my face -_- and tell them “can we change topic?” because I really answered this kinda of question about thousands of times? Perhaps I have thousand of friends too HAHAHAHA!!!

Oh well, people!!! Do not worry about my future for future will worry about itself…weeeeee sounds familiar? HAHAHA.

In Matthew 6:25-34 Do not Worry

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Well people, I should apologize if I told you not to worry about my future because it’s doesn’t mean that people can’t ask or care about me hahaha just that I really don’t have my answer to it too and that’s why I can’t answer you guys! Please don’t cut ties with me because of this because I still hope to maintain my thousand list of friends HAHAHA just joking!

The reason why I’m posting these bible verses here are because Lord reminds me about His word and I know there’s no point to worry so much about what my next plan is and perhaps 33seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. In Matthew 7:7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. But people, please do not misunderstand my word here because of “no point to worry”. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have to worry and do nothing! All I have do is ASK, SEEK and KNOCK while seeking for the next step! I believe Holy Spirit will guide me through.

Aiya it’s a bit hard to explain here ler? Haha well, there's no right or wrong in Bible too. Free thinking and it’s about how you understand His word. It can be different dependent on different situations!!!

I often ask myself “so what’s the plan?” and came out with an answer “well, you don’t have a plan, do you?” hahaha see!! But from the question I asked I believed Lord hears me too. Have faith in Him and He will show me what’s next! But before this, I have tried hard too, because things won’t just come out without any action!!! =)))))

Well, I hope to find myself a job, don’t ever think I can be just a freeloader at home as I have everything I want too liaooooo! But Man!! Please ask yourself when you’re asking me questions!! How much do you know me? How much do you know my feelings? How much do you know I am stressed here? And how much do you know I am worried about my parents? Perhaps different people have their own different things to worry lohhhhh!! (Of course, IF you really know me then I don’t mind) hehe

Dad and Mom, they don’t really like me to work outside as they always told me it’s dangerous outside there and you will be very safe just at home. Haha I would laugh at them every time when they told me this as I really know they’re worried about me! But that doesn’t mean I agreed with them lah HAHAHAAHAHA I’m a naughty gal!!!

I promised my parents that I would try to settle down here IFFFFF IIIII CANNNNN. But definitely that won’t be the future I want HAHAHAHA! So until the end of this year if I still can’t manage to settle down myself here…HAHAHA you know I know lah!!! So it’s actually 5 more months to go!! Hmmmm I should appreciate this period of time too!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Wah~ seems like a lot of rubbish that I had vomited out here!!! nt gud nt gudd! haha! So people! Now you understand my situation liao horrrrrr? <.<

Oh yah!!! I feel so healthy recently when I am staying at home!! Didn’t get sick anymore lerRRR!!! perhaps mom really took care of me very well in every meallllllllS! Thanks Mom and I really love you!!!

K lah..stop here 1st, I will come back again!!! Buaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! Miss ya!!!

Guitar

Few days ago, I started my guitar lessons. Thank God that I actually found a very nice teacher to teach me day by day, little by little. I thank God for the free time given to me, to allow some practices to be done at home too.

Now my guitar skills are much better than before. Of course it’s better because I never had the chance to touch guitar when I actually wished for it when I was at KL.

For what I wish now is to make full use of my free time here and do something beneficial. Whatever it is, I’ll put all my heart in it and learn as much as I can. Go Clara =D



***this photo was taken by someone haha…thanks for the nice photo. I know I was fully concentrating on it hahahahaha XD

A funny thing to share through my brother and my brother’s friend this morning.

Charles (brother’s friend) : Have you been to church this morning?
ALvaris (My Bro) : Yes, I went to church last week.
Charles : Hello~ is one week 14 days for you?
ALvaris : HAHAHA

when they did their funny talks just in front of me during lunch. Suddenly I had this feeling of guiltiness inside my heart, because I didn’t attend church this morning and felt like God is sending his angel and asking Clara…is one week 14 days for you??? -_-'''

Oh welll….ending my story here….m going to have my nap now XD

This is my souvenir from Russia. Thanks Charles!

Friends, I’m sorry.

Here, I want to say sorry to my Singapore’s Hope church friends, because I have to cancel my trip to Penang which I originally plan to go with them since I have to move on to the other plan that I made. So sorry to cancel my trip, I will keep you guys in prayers to have a safe trip and to have a blessed time in Penang. I miss you all.

Oops in just two month I wonder how many air tickets have I throw away? How much money had I wasted? I guess it’s about 4 or 5 tickets which cost me approximately RMXXX.XX XD Perhaps I am just too rich >.< ??? okay lah, I told myself no more next time, very painful to waste all those money Haha. This lesson tells us that don’t simply book ticket if you know you’re going to be packed in your schedules.

Oh well, updating myself a bit here. Recently what makes me happy is I can go back home to relax next month. And I’m going to stay there for a few months. Ya, few months because I don’t have any further plans about my working life. Perhaps I haven’t prepared my heart well to devote myself into it. But I hope I won’t fall into this kind of mood for too long, because it will make me feel lazy and I NEED MONEY TO SURVIVE XD, don’t want to get them from my parents too often. So CLaRa, you know what to do, it’s time for you to earn money for parents, hahaha..Sound easy huh?

Hmmm, I feel guilty recently because I haven’t been to church at all ever since I came back here. And also, it feels bad that I am starting to get used to my life without going to church. I even start to have many activities with my own friends when I’m supposed to go to church. Oops, So Clara, do you think Jesus won’t be disappointed? Get yourself and think properly. >.<

So, if you ask me what I’m doing during my free time since I am in big holiday now, I can only answer you that except going out for shopping, going out yamcha, lunch or dinner with frens and relatives, going out for sports, gym, jogging, badminton, swimming, haha de rest of my time I have spent is staying in this room, surfing net, watching DVD, youtube, ppstream, reading magazines, books, and eating lollipop.

Lol. This wasn’t my Bedroom in KL, it’s my “Entertainment” room and fully air coned, and it’s pretty messy. aiksss I miss home lah. This kind of life is really BORING!!!

Finally I just want to say that, there’s still a lot of activities waiting for me next month (in June). Have fun ya, CLaRa HEHE XD

Be right back……XD